‘Your criteria for calling your friends is weird’

Cee R.
2 min readSep 7, 2021

A totally accurate* summary of Marvel’s What If..? Episode 3 — What If… The World Lost Its Mightiest Heroes? *Accuracy may be entirely fictional

A bunch of comic books all piled artsily across each other. I have decided that ‘artsily’ is a word now. Deal with it.
Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

BEWARE SPOILERS!!!

Warning: this post discusses murder and corpses

I.

Natasha: Y’know these cuffs are pointless, right?

Fury: B***h, you know I know — the pantomime’s for the guard and the driver, k? Then find out who took out Stark

Natasha: You’re lucky that I’m actually loyal, or I’d be half-way to Moscow by now

Fury: That’s my girl!

II.

Nick Fury: nope, no, nah — I’m calling Carol, sh**’s got too weird. Although…

Phil Coulson: So you’re not calling her

Nick: Nope

Coulson: Even though she could literally defend us from an alien army single-handedly?

Nick: Yup

Coulson: Your criteria for calling your friends is weird

Nick: B***h, you sniff corpses in this universe, don’t talk to me about weird

*Five minutes later*

Nick: …Oh sh**, that backfired. Yeah, I’m definitely calling Carol.

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Cee R.
Cee R.

Written by Cee R.

Writer, poet, (book) blogger @ dorareads.co.uk , Queer, weird, & a tad peculiar. Bookish rebel. Welsh as a tractor on the M4. Buy me a coffee @ ko-fi.com/ceearr

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